Takin' a Vacation from this blog.

I've got too many blogs right now and much of what I'm doing, you can see on my others. I'm especially excited about my Finding Joy in the Journey through Family Fun blog so be sure to check it out. It pretty much gives a day to day account of my "Stay at Home Mom" life. I'll let ya know when I update this thing, but for now, it's one less blog you have to check. Thanks, Lindsay

This is an amazing feeling.

So up until yesterday I have been freaking out and feeling so unprepared and frantic and anxious and nervous about this pageant. But the weirdest thing happened yesterday. I woke up and felt completely at peace. All day long I don't think I worried over it once. I have no idea why the sudden change. Even if I tried thinking about it the anxious feeling would not come back. That in and of itself makes me nervous. Even today, I feel completely comfortable and not worried. Maybe I crave the adrenaline and I'm not getting it. I suppose it could mean I finally reached what I've been working for. I'm totally comfortable with me and I just feel inner peace and confidence with who I am. I'm looking forward to this weekend and can't wait to get glammed up. Today I've waxed my eyebrows and am off to get spray tanned...hooray!

pageant update

So we are a little over a week from the big night and I'm feeling the momentum starting to build. It's exciting. I'm waltzing around the house in stillettos (?) and my brain's spinning from answering questions even in my dreams. I'm not lying. Sometimes my brain will not shut off at night. I am a little perplexed though. You see I'm aiming to be myself during this interview, however when I'm in a stiff suit and I have to sit up really straight and not gesture too much, that just doesn't equal me. I'll keep practicing I guess and fill myself with positive affirmations and pray for the best. I feel pretty good about the on stage walking, however there are 10, yes that's right 10 stairs that I have to navigate TWICE!!! Can we hold on to the rail? People are dropping out all over the place which makes me sad. I can say, if you are coming, it's really going to be a great show. The music is fun and the set will be amazing. Think Beauty and the Beast. I really am getting excited and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach just thinking about it.
I'm really starting to invest my heart into it which is scary, because I just don't want to be disappointed. There are amazing girls that are competing along side me. I figure if you don't see yourself as the winner then you never will be. I'm trying to be brave and start to imagine it, because during this whole process I've stayed away from those thoughts. I am happy with what I've accomplished so far and would be thrilled to be able to continue the journey as Mrs. Utah for another year. Wish me luck and I thank you all for your encouragement and kind words. Only one week to go and I can't wait to see how it all turns out!

Platform relevancy and confirmation.

I've always believed in my platform and felt that it is so relevant for today, and concidering the fact that by 2010 it is estimated that 20% of Utah's population will be Hispanic I believe it could help this growing population tremedously, however it was the story that broke last week that confirmed it to me. I was so sad to hear of the New York shootings at the immigrant center. While reading the articles on line, they repeatedly said that the man was frustrated with his job loss and his inability to speak English very well. He also felt like others were laughing at his attempts to speak English. I hope that none of us would ever laugh at another for trying. I know that it is so intimidating to speak another language and the fact that others are mocking you would discourage your meager attempts. One paper quoted him as saying, "America sucks." Do you think he came to this country thinking that? I doubt not. But he was met with frustrations and disappointments like most immigrants I would assume. It's not easy to learn a new language and try to succeed in a working environment. This is what my platform is all about. I want to help individuals before they feel all is lost and do something terrible. We can help and support others as they fulfill their American dream by encouraging them to learn English and I would encourage all to be a little more patient and smile when they hear someone trying their best to communicate in our native tongue.

My little cheerleaders!!!

So the girls have been so much apart of my pageant prep. They get shuttled around and usually end up with a trip to McDonald's everytime we have to venture out to Raychaleene's for alterations, which has been a lot. They come with me to have my shoes fixed, to buy earrings, to a baby sitter so I can get a spray tan, and the list goes on. Gabriela gives me her opinion of all the other ladies and today she noticed how her eyebrows were bigger than the other ladies. I had to laugh a little bit at that point. They let me model my swimsuit for them and Gabriela is always so kind and says, "Mom, you look great," and "Mom, I love your fancy dress...it's beautiful." Too bad she can't come back stage with me. She would boost my self confindence. Everyday she asks me when the pageant is and is so excited she gets to go. She also tells me, which I think is priceless coming from her little four year old voice, "Mami, it's o.k. if you don't win. You just try, try again, and keep getting better." Here they are modeling my pageant heels and others they've seen me wear. Please excuse the underwear.Here's the peanut gallery as I model my swimsuit. I just don't think they are very interested, do you? You work with what you got...right!

A little blogger's remorse.

O.k. I'm feeling pretty bad about the last post. I was having a bad day, if you couldn't tell. It sounds as if I'm miserable doing this pageant, which is not the case at all. I'm so glad that I'm doing this and it has been the best experience. I would recommend it to anyone who's out to find an avenue for self improvement. I just think I'm feeling the pressure as the event approaches ever so quickly. I'm really excited for the big night and can't wait to see how it all turns out.

The reality of being in a Mrs. Pageant

I'm ready to fess up I guess in a way. This has felt like the everlasting marathon and I'm at the home stretch with only 3 weeks to go, can you believe it. I've seen what Miguel looks like the last mile of his marathon doing what we call the "grandpa shuffle"and that's how I'm feeling right about now. Exhausted. I'm so stressed and feel like I need to do so much more work and practice so much more, but just can't seem to fit it in. My kids are revolting on me. They look like the nappiest little things when I drag them to the gym each morning, and I do mean every morning for the last month. I'm mentally spent and the trainer ensures I'm physically spent. My husband says we are financially spent, so there is just not a whole lot left at this point. Oh, and for some reason, probably PMS or something, I just want to eat everything in sight. Forget these lousy protein shakes and bring on the chocolate cake. Am I glad I'm doing this...Yes. Have I learned what I was after when I signed up...Definately. Am I ready to move on to something else...You betcha. When I'm lucky enough to have all my kids down for their naps at the same time I'm faced with the decision, do I go take a nap? or do I go practice? I just wonder if the other ladies feel like I do? I think I'm ready to say I'm happy with who I am and the way I look! Take it or leave it.

Go get your tickets!

That's right ladies and gents, (actually just ladies I suppose). Tickets for the pageant are on sale now at http://coveycenter.org/. It is on April 25th at the Covey Center for the Arts here in Provo. Lucky me! I would love everyone to come out and support me in this adventure. It would mean a lot to me to have my family and friends there. Tickets are $15 for adults and $10 for children. We are having some wonderful guest performers from "So You Think You Can Dance," so you know the entertainment will be great. I'll try not to diappoint, although I cannot guarantee a win. Just be kind if I'm not standing at the end wearing a crown on my head. I can't believe it's only six weeks away. Yikes! Oh, and get your tickets soon, because with 25 contestants they think it will sell out. Seats are not assigned so get there early to find a good one. Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all of you who have said such kind and positive things and for all your help and advice. You've made this experience worth it. One more thing, the contestants are now up on the website, so you can go check it out at www.mrsutahus.com

The girls have left on vacation.

If you are a man about to read this post, you might want to go elsewhere. This is about the reality of having children and getting older. Can I just say that my boobs have done a disappearing act on me. I'm actually quite bothered by it. You see, I used to have a pretty full bust. Not large by any means, but full none the less. Now at age 28, having nursed two kids and dropped a ton of weight in the last year, I'm sad to report that there is nothing left. It's like they finished their job and left for vacation, but will dutifully return if I decide to have another child. This pageant makes you keanly aware of your body and I'm a little upset that the girls have left, especially when I need them the most.
I was at the gym the other day and was wearing my sports bra and glanced at the mirror and was horrified at the fact that I had not chest at all. Is there a Victoria Secret push up extra padded sports bra? I need that. Everyone tells me that for the pageant you use duct tape to tape them up, but what if you've got nothing to tape. Do you see my problem? Oh well, I guess it's wishfull thinking. I never in my life ever concidered implants, and don't worry I never will do it, but I now understand what some women were thinking. Yikes!!! The joys of womanhood.

Feeling like a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader (minus the booty shorts)!

Last night was our photo night for the pageant. It was great and a lot of fun. There are 26 contestants, so it was interesting to watch them try to configure us all into one photo. They even had the fans blowing on us. After group shots I had my headshots done. It's a fun experience and not something I would otherwise have the opportunity to do. I'm excited to see how everything turned out. I really got to meet and talk to a lot of the women and I think they are just great. It seems like everyone is just as intimidated as I am in being around so many great women. Oh and I shocked the photographer with my age and the fact that I have three kids...again. Anyway here are two shots I got last night of me with my fellow pageant buddies. Sasha, Natalie, and I

Me, Tiffany, Emily, and Camille

(Oh and by the way, I did wear my first pair of skinny jeans and check out those shoes!)

Wanted: Someone to give me some fashion advice!

It's quite pathetic actually. I went shopping yesterday to find something to wear for the pageant photos that are in a week. I knew exactly what shirt I wanted, but that is where it ended. We need jeans you see, and since all the jeans I own make me look like I have no rear end or a saggy one, it would only seem necessary that I purchase some. I keep hearing about skinny jeans, actually I've been hearing about them for a while now, and I have never put my legs through a pair. I thought, what the heck, and asked the gal where I would find some in the store. I was so embarrased to admit I was that behind on fashion. Then I check out the shoes. I see folks walking around with those skinny jeans and pumps which is so foreign a concept to me. I also see people in shoes that do not match their outfits and since when do people wear hot pink or purple high heeled shoes? I know you are laughing at my ignorance. Anyways, I grab a couple of funky shoes some tiny jeans and head for the dressing room laughing already at the thought of what I'm going to look like. Let me tell you, I felt like an idiot. I happened to walk out of the dressing room to look at a better mirror and the door shut behind me and locked. I was horrified at the thought of having to walk out of the dressing room in these pants that I look like I've been poured into. I had to go get the girl to unlock it and I ask her "are you supposed to look like you've been poured into these things?" She's like,"they look great on you...I can't wear them, but you pull them off." Lady...ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I ended up buying everything and bringing it home so my dear hubbie could help me out. He just laughs and says he knows nothing about fashion. I sure wish I could go shopping with someone who knows what's up as far as fashion goes. I think I'm going to end up sticking to what I know, so I don't come off as self concious. I'm a classic girl. I like the mature sophisticated look, that is when I'm not in my jeans, you know the normal flare kind, and my sweaters. If you've got any advice and want to go shopping or you just want to come along and laugh at me, you just let me know!

Please come and support me during a wonderful evening out with your spouse.

You can purchase tickets through the Mrs. Utah website at www.mrsutahus.com. I would love to be surrounded by friends and family that night. Let me know if you would like to attend or if you would like more information.

What I look like in my dreams!

This is how I look in my dreams!

We'll see what that tummy looks like after 3 kids.

I've got to give the girl credit though, she's got it going on.

Just in case you were wondering.

So many of you might be wondering how the whole pageant prep is coming along. I don't really mention it to people unless they ask. All I can say is, it's coming. I've got a dress, which I'm in love with, that I picked up at a boutique in Atlanta. The good news is that I'm still just as in love with it today as I was the first day I brought it home. You see it's the second one I purchased. I didn't have those same warm fuzzies about the first one. It needs some serious alterations to fit this short body, but I'm sure that can be arranged. Shoes? I've got one pair. I call them the hooker shoes. They must have at least a 5 inch heel on them. My platform is definitely improving and focusing. I'm getting a better vision of what I want to accomplish with it. Swimsuit. Still not looking forward to that one. Now they've thrown me for a loop. You see they say you can choose black or white for your swimsuit. I think this is a psychological decision. Do they want to see who the brave ones are that will wear white? I mean I'm brave, but I think the black will hide my good ole c'section incision line. I hate that thing with a passion. I've haven't made up my mind on this one. I still need a good interview outfit, earrings, nude shoes, and a cocktail dress for the Gala. Oh, the sponsorships are still my biggest hurdle. I'm hoping to jump over it soon. Everything is coming along and I'm getting excited about it.

I may have gained weight, but boy was it good!

O.k. Here's a little word of advice for my fellow pageant pals. Don't go to the South during pageant season if you are at all scared of gaining weight. My family fed me like a horse. The problem was...I let them and it was so good! Now I know why folks are heavy down there. There is just too much good food. Let me just recap a little of my menu. Cracker Barrel fried shrimp, green beans, mashed potatoes, hashbrown casserole, biscuits, cornbread. Buttered biscuits and jam with bacon for breakfast. Jim and Nick's barbeque sandwich, cheddar cornbread muffins, baked beans for lunch. Let's see what else, hmmmm. Oh yeah, country fried steak with mashed potatoes, green beans and onion rings. I'm tellin ya folks. I think I gained five pounds in five days. I figured it's all right, because I won't be able to eat like that for a year or so and I'll get back into my exercise routine (crossing my fingers) soon. When I look in the mirror I just don't feel the same. I guess it's a good thing I live all the way out west to get me away from the table. Hopefully I haven't scared you and don't scoff at lack of self control, because I know you secretly wish it was you!