Put your shoulder to the wheel.

Well, I think I'm going to keep going. I really do want this experience. Will I win?...probably not. But I'm o.k. with that. If that's what I was doing it for than it wouldn't be worth the investment, but I think the journey has taken me so far, and is shaping my life already, that I want to see what else I can gain from it. Maybe my little job will have to pay for it, or who knows, maybe I will find the sponsorships. I think it's good to be realistic about the time and energy I can put into this. Can I change the world right now. No, but I can make a small difference perhaps. Hopefully the judges will realize that and not expect too much. If they do, then I'm not the girl to win. I'll give it my all, but if it is not enough, then that's o.k. I'll hopefully get what I need to out of the experience and go home a happier woman.

Ahhhh, I don't know what to do!

So about a week or so ago, I decided to let the pageant thing go. It sounds really fun, but it is becoming such a stress. Finding the time and support to work on the platform has been impossible. Finding the money...are you kidding me. I feel like how can I ask businesses to donate money when economic times are so bad. It feels like pulling teeth. If I was rich and could cover the cost myself ,then sure, I'm all about doing it, but that's just not the case. I was, and am, really excited about getting to know these girls. I'm prepared to let it go, but in the back of my mind, there is a part of me that still wants to see it through. So many people know I am doing this and I don't want to be a quiter. I just don't know what to do???? Plus, I've already invested a lot in a gown. I'm really struggling, can you tell.

Dream on...

So I woke up this morning after having this crazy dream about the pageant. It was so ridiculous that I had to jump up and write it down before I forgot it. It was pageant day and all the ladies showed up with their outfits in hand. As we are signing in, I notice they are just starting to learn the choreography in some amphitheater. I'm starting to panic because I think I'm missing it and I knew we only had a small window of time before the pageant started. As I run down there I notice who's teaching the choreography. It's that good looking kid from High School Musical, Zack Heffron. Apparently he's trying to teach a cha cha and no one was getting it. I enthusiastically informed him that I knew how and he takes my hand and brings me to the front and proceeds to dance with me. (Of course in your dreams you are way better than you naturally are, so we looked and felt great dancing together) Then he puts on some Rhumba music, the dance of love, and forgets about teaching everyone else and continues to dance with me all romantic like. (Apparently he and I both forgot it was a MRS. pageant. I am so laughing my head off at the thought of this right now as I'm writing.) I asked if we were doing a Rhumba in the pageant and he says he and I were. I thought that's not going to fly real well with the other ladies.
Of course all good things must come to an end, right. I often have dreams about when I used to dance and they always create panic because I'm not ready. Either I don't have a costume, shoes, or I don't know the routine. Something. Well this dream is no exception. I showed up thinking there was going to be someone to do our hair and makeup. My hair was in a pony tail and the next thing I know the pageant is starting. I'm sitting off stage and I see the first contestant coming on. I become frantic trying to call my mother to bring my makeup bag in a hurry, but my phone runs out of batteries. Everyone looked gorgeous of course and I was ready to bawl my eyes out. I hadn't prepared so hard for so long to go on stage looking like a total mess. I guess all of the anxiety is what woke me up.
I'm pretty sure the hot dance choreographer is not going to happen and lets pray the makeup and hair fiasco doesn't happen come April. Oh, the things the mind will create.